FROM THE START, A NON-COMPARISON
The batter hits a slow roller and manages to beat it out. His momentum carries him 30feet beyond first base. He gets no credit for those extra feet. Compare safely getting to first base with football's goal of getting the first down. The runner succeeds not only in getting the first down but 6 yards more, and furthermore he gets extra credit to the tune of those 6 yards. Isn't this inter-sport comparison unfair to baseball? Shouldn't the batter, beyond getting to first base successfully, get extra credit for his momentum-driven extra 30 feet?
In a word, no. What's the moral? To each his own. Don't let borders get out of hand, or foot. To each its zone. Remain territorially distinct, don't blur rules.
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
THE OFFENSE WAS OFFENSIVE
Maybe Havelock Hewes will have pleasant dreams of Dobbs Ferry after surrendering 17 runs in the top of the 4th inning in Game 1 at Riverdale, enroute to a 27-7 defeat at the hands of Dave Rosengard. Havelock's misery began when SS Alex Rivera tried to complete a double play but missed Marvin's glove and drilled batter Laura Stoeth in the leg instead. Her teammates seemed to take this personally, and Rob Anapol, Ross Barkan, Ian Parfrey, and Zach Nilva (grand slam) all homered in the inning. Anapol homered three times in the game, all 3 absolute bombs, and drove in 7 runs. Ross Barkan, a promising rookie from Brooklyn, homered twice and drove in 6. Rosengard pitched effectively for the win.
Game 2 was won by Jim O'Connor (2-0) over Ian Parfrey, 19-17. O'Connor's team fought back from a 10-2 deficit. Freddy Melendez homered and drove in 7 runs. Barkan was 5-for-5 with 4 RBI. Parfrey homered twice and drove in 7, but couldn't out-hit his pitching, as fields away from Central Park continue to be his Kryptonite. The go-ahead run was stranded on first base in an exciting finish.
Field conditions were a little on the icy, sunny, and muddy side, which made for little defense and much offense.
This is not meant to take the place of Dave Rosengard's View From the Mound, which will eventually hopefully be hosted here.
Game 2 was won by Jim O'Connor (2-0) over Ian Parfrey, 19-17. O'Connor's team fought back from a 10-2 deficit. Freddy Melendez homered and drove in 7 runs. Barkan was 5-for-5 with 4 RBI. Parfrey homered twice and drove in 7, but couldn't out-hit his pitching, as fields away from Central Park continue to be his Kryptonite. The go-ahead run was stranded on first base in an exciting finish.
Field conditions were a little on the icy, sunny, and muddy side, which made for little defense and much offense.
This is not meant to take the place of Dave Rosengard's View From the Mound, which will eventually hopefully be hosted here.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
MOTIVE AND OPPORTUNITY
The comments on yesterday's column led me to try out the season score stat, described here. Basically, run elements over outs made times plate appearances. Since 1992, there have been 27 seasons scoring higher than 100. Carl Weinberg's 2006, in which he batted .565 with 45 extra base hits, is the highest season score, at 139.04. Pitching and defense are not included in the season score. Here's the roll call of elite batters:
Phil Kotik, 6 seasons: 1992, 1994, 1995, 1997-99.
Kurt Hettler, 2 seasons: 1992, 1993.
Bobby Naranjo, 2 seasons: 1992, 1994.
Joe Gerber, 2 seasons: 1995, 1998.
Dan Schneider, 2 seasons: 1995, 1997.
Jose Balento, 2 seasons: 1996, 1999.
Carl Weinberg, 2 seasons: 2006, 2008.
Ian Parfrey, 2 seasons: 2008, 2009.
Larry Savell, 1994.
John Grieco, 1995.
Tony Connor, 1998.
Bill Vernick, 1998.
Phil Ciccone, 2007.
Derek Martinez, 2009.
Alex Rivera, 2009.
The top 10 seasons:
1. Carl Weinberg, 2006-- 139.04
2. Carl Weinberg, 2008-- 136.62
3. Joe Gerber, 1995-- 135.98
4. Ian Parfrey, 2009-- 135.96
5. Phil Kotik, 1999-- 134.17
6. Derek Martinez, 2009-- 131.70
7. Phil Kotik, 1995-- 131.55
8. Phil Kotik, 1998-- 128.77
9. Jose Balento, 1999-- 128.73
10. Alex Rivera, 2009-- 128.47
Phil Kotik, 6 seasons: 1992, 1994, 1995, 1997-99.
Kurt Hettler, 2 seasons: 1992, 1993.
Bobby Naranjo, 2 seasons: 1992, 1994.
Joe Gerber, 2 seasons: 1995, 1998.
Dan Schneider, 2 seasons: 1995, 1997.
Jose Balento, 2 seasons: 1996, 1999.
Carl Weinberg, 2 seasons: 2006, 2008.
Ian Parfrey, 2 seasons: 2008, 2009.
Larry Savell, 1994.
John Grieco, 1995.
Tony Connor, 1998.
Bill Vernick, 1998.
Phil Ciccone, 2007.
Derek Martinez, 2009.
Alex Rivera, 2009.
The top 10 seasons:
1. Carl Weinberg, 2006-- 139.04
2. Carl Weinberg, 2008-- 136.62
3. Joe Gerber, 1995-- 135.98
4. Ian Parfrey, 2009-- 135.96
5. Phil Kotik, 1999-- 134.17
6. Derek Martinez, 2009-- 131.70
7. Phil Kotik, 1995-- 131.55
8. Phil Kotik, 1998-- 128.77
9. Jose Balento, 1999-- 128.73
10. Alex Rivera, 2009-- 128.47
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
NEW RULES FOR SCORING A GAME: A MODEST PROPOSAL
Official scorers too often come to their task with the notion of giving the "poor hitter" a "break." The old bromide that "the most difficult task in sports is to hit a moving round ball with a cylindrical bat" is the start of an admission of prejudice toward the hitter and against the pitcher. The adoption of the few adjustments to our methods that I suggest here would go a long way toward simplifying official scoring and evening the favoritism toward the batter that now abounds.
Let us start the discussion by asking what we expect from the fielders? We expect an accurate anticipation of where a ball is going as it comes off the bat, a wholehearted attempt to catch the ball, and the skill to get to balls quickly and make accurate throws to bases. This is what you get from players such as Phil Ciccone at shortstop and Brian Hernandez in the outfield. For every fine fielder, there are a dozen inadequate ones, who I won't embarrass by naming (except to include myself among the bunglers), who are as likely to botch a play as to make one. If Ciccone and Hernandez can do this, why not everyone else? The answer is a lack of competence. Unfortunately, official scorers get so used to this special olympics standard of play that if any ball is not hit directly at a player no error is charged and a "hit" is gleefully awarded to the "poor hitter." And what of the pitcher? No one cares. Why? Because the "poor batters" and the truly poor fielders are the same actors in different roles, an effective conspiracy of the inadequate" is formed.
This conspiracy is aided by a lack of any real rules in official scoring. All sorts of wrong opinions and urban legends abound -"it can't be an error unless it hits a glove," "it can't be an error if the fielder doesn't see the ball," "it can't be an error if the fielder made a good play to get to the ball but threw it away," etc.
The wisest instruction for an official scorer is to clear your head of all this and adopt the following few sensible rules...
A ball hit in a largely upward trajectory ( a "pop-up" or lazy fly ball) should be caught. An adequate fielder should, given the "hang time" he has, get under virtually any ball on the field of play. in practice, there are several mistakes by fielders which prevent these balls from being caught. Bad jump, lack of effort and lack of skills are three that, quite obviously, are the responsibility of the fielder. In addition, sometimes balls will "fall in" due to miscommunication between fielders and the eager scorekeeper jots down "1B." To my mind, this is the most egregious type of error. Both fielders are able to get to the ball, but the two are unable to simply communicate with each other. If these guys were traffic controllers they would be charged with more than an error. Likewise, "weather conditions" are often used as an excuse to award a "hit." What a joke. We scold toddlers for not wearing their mittens but forgive grown men for not anticipating a gust of wind or a ray of sunshine. Again, the error is the worse for being a mental one.
Scoring Rule #1: All fly-balls (not line-drives) landing in the field of play shall be errors on the nearest fielder.
The groundball, like the fly ball,is, most often, a mistake by the batter. Almost all the time, the batter is attempting to hit a line drive, and failing. Most of these groundballs are fielded and, if not botched, become outs. Some, by chance, are hit between infielders. It is the custom to award the batter a "hit" for these "tweeners." It is my opinion that the infielders are responsible for fielding nearly all groundballs. Occasionally, a batter will try to hit a groundball through an opening in the infield or to the right side to advance a runner or bunt ball into a no-man's-land area of the field. An exception should be made for these "intentional" groundballs. In order to prove the groundball is intentional, the hitter should be required to privately inform the umpire of his intention to hit the ball on the ground. If the batter should succeed in hitting this "called" pitch on the ground, whatever the result, the batter would not be charged with a hit or an at-bat. Instead, he would be credited with a "called groundball" which is much like a "sacrifice" in that it does not effect his batting average. However, if the batter should on the "called" pitch hit a line-drive, a flyball or strike-out he would be charged an at-bat and no no hit, no matter what the result.
Scoring Rule #2: All groundballs resulting in a safety at first shall be charged as errors on the nearest infielder. Exception: If a batter informs the umpire that he is trying for a groundball and hits the ball on the ground a "called groundball" will be awarded the batter and no time at-bat charged or hit awarder. If the batter does not hit a groundball, he will be charged with an at-bat and no hit, no matter the result.
This leaves the line-drive. If a batter hits a line-drive and it hits the glove or any part of the fielder on the fly and the runner gets safely to first base an error should be charged.
Scoring Rule #3: If a line-drive gets through the infield, untouched, and lands untouched, a hit shall be granted. And congratulations to the hitter, for the hit is well-deserved.
I believe if these few modest changes are made in official scoring rules, we would see batting averages and earned run averages more in line with the major league numbers.
While my logic seems unassailable, are there any other opinions?
Let us start the discussion by asking what we expect from the fielders? We expect an accurate anticipation of where a ball is going as it comes off the bat, a wholehearted attempt to catch the ball, and the skill to get to balls quickly and make accurate throws to bases. This is what you get from players such as Phil Ciccone at shortstop and Brian Hernandez in the outfield. For every fine fielder, there are a dozen inadequate ones, who I won't embarrass by naming (except to include myself among the bunglers), who are as likely to botch a play as to make one. If Ciccone and Hernandez can do this, why not everyone else? The answer is a lack of competence. Unfortunately, official scorers get so used to this special olympics standard of play that if any ball is not hit directly at a player no error is charged and a "hit" is gleefully awarded to the "poor hitter." And what of the pitcher? No one cares. Why? Because the "poor batters" and the truly poor fielders are the same actors in different roles, an effective conspiracy of the inadequate" is formed.
This conspiracy is aided by a lack of any real rules in official scoring. All sorts of wrong opinions and urban legends abound -"it can't be an error unless it hits a glove," "it can't be an error if the fielder doesn't see the ball," "it can't be an error if the fielder made a good play to get to the ball but threw it away," etc.
The wisest instruction for an official scorer is to clear your head of all this and adopt the following few sensible rules...
A ball hit in a largely upward trajectory ( a "pop-up" or lazy fly ball) should be caught. An adequate fielder should, given the "hang time" he has, get under virtually any ball on the field of play. in practice, there are several mistakes by fielders which prevent these balls from being caught. Bad jump, lack of effort and lack of skills are three that, quite obviously, are the responsibility of the fielder. In addition, sometimes balls will "fall in" due to miscommunication between fielders and the eager scorekeeper jots down "1B." To my mind, this is the most egregious type of error. Both fielders are able to get to the ball, but the two are unable to simply communicate with each other. If these guys were traffic controllers they would be charged with more than an error. Likewise, "weather conditions" are often used as an excuse to award a "hit." What a joke. We scold toddlers for not wearing their mittens but forgive grown men for not anticipating a gust of wind or a ray of sunshine. Again, the error is the worse for being a mental one.
Scoring Rule #1: All fly-balls (not line-drives) landing in the field of play shall be errors on the nearest fielder.
The groundball, like the fly ball,is, most often, a mistake by the batter. Almost all the time, the batter is attempting to hit a line drive, and failing. Most of these groundballs are fielded and, if not botched, become outs. Some, by chance, are hit between infielders. It is the custom to award the batter a "hit" for these "tweeners." It is my opinion that the infielders are responsible for fielding nearly all groundballs. Occasionally, a batter will try to hit a groundball through an opening in the infield or to the right side to advance a runner or bunt ball into a no-man's-land area of the field. An exception should be made for these "intentional" groundballs. In order to prove the groundball is intentional, the hitter should be required to privately inform the umpire of his intention to hit the ball on the ground. If the batter should succeed in hitting this "called" pitch on the ground, whatever the result, the batter would not be charged with a hit or an at-bat. Instead, he would be credited with a "called groundball" which is much like a "sacrifice" in that it does not effect his batting average. However, if the batter should on the "called" pitch hit a line-drive, a flyball or strike-out he would be charged an at-bat and no no hit, no matter what the result.
Scoring Rule #2: All groundballs resulting in a safety at first shall be charged as errors on the nearest infielder. Exception: If a batter informs the umpire that he is trying for a groundball and hits the ball on the ground a "called groundball" will be awarded the batter and no time at-bat charged or hit awarder. If the batter does not hit a groundball, he will be charged with an at-bat and no hit, no matter the result.
This leaves the line-drive. If a batter hits a line-drive and it hits the glove or any part of the fielder on the fly and the runner gets safely to first base an error should be charged.
Scoring Rule #3: If a line-drive gets through the infield, untouched, and lands untouched, a hit shall be granted. And congratulations to the hitter, for the hit is well-deserved.
I believe if these few modest changes are made in official scoring rules, we would see batting averages and earned run averages more in line with the major league numbers.
While my logic seems unassailable, are there any other opinions?
Monday, January 18, 2010
THE FUTURE SEASON FORECASTER
This is something I've been kicking around with Sal and Seung for awhile now-- trying to come up with our own predictive tool, like Baseball Prospectus's PECOTA, for softball. I've concluded that this is a basically useless endeavor-- incredibly difficult with little payoff besides finding out if I'm as smart as I think I am. We're not professionals; Havelock will not be considering this when deciding whether to sign Alex or Zach to a multi-million dollar deal to patrol centerfield. But the idea refuses to die.
We do have an incredible statistical database, with basic batting stats going back to 1983, and the full range of stats starting in 1985. Pitching was not always tracked diligently, until Joe Gerber came along, and fielding is impossible to track at this level. Gerber, by the way, left me a valuable statistical database consisting of-- I believe 9-- complete seasons from the 1990s and 2000s. For those seasons at least, I could (if I accept this mission) weed out the park effects from the different fields we've used. It's easier to hit in the winter games, for example. Hastings produces a lot of doubles. Dobbs produces cheap homers. When SFLOI used Dobbs as its primary field, there was a HR explosion of epic proportions, similar to what would happen if the Colorado Rockies moved to Mexico City with 275-foot fences and built eight clones of Ted Williams with DNA taken from his frozen head. When I was hitting at Dobbs in late 2008, I hit 7 of my 12 homers in a single month. Jeff Appell homered 19 times in a season, Glen Lawrence 17, Ian Lebowitz 16. Heckscher, with its spacious outfield (and some claim, its difficult hitting backdrop), took away everyone's "power", though they were really the same hitters. Look in the lifetime stats-- the HR explosion is 1998-2001, and 2002-2005 is the dead ball era.
So, obvious conclusion #1-- some ballparks make certain hitters look good. Singles hitters do not benefit from Dobbs Ferry. Big fly-ball hitters do, as do line-drive gap hitters.
In baseball predictions, age is a big factor, but I don't think that would be the case in softball. Most baseball players are finished by 35, and softball hitters are never "finished", and you could make a case that the decline phase only even begins somewhere between 40 and 60. I would guess that how often a player plays, and how good their conditioning is, has a greater effect. So, I might look at how players perform after 200-AB seasons. Do they improve, or at least decline more slowly? Complicating this-- many of our players get at bats elsewhere, with other teams and pickup games. How can we measure for that?
Well, that's all the stats I have in me for today, and my girlfriend will probably kill me if I don't get off her laptop soon. Nate Silver, one of the guys who designed PECOTA, later said that ballplayers perform pretty much like they did in past seasons. That's good enough for me. Maybe.
We do have an incredible statistical database, with basic batting stats going back to 1983, and the full range of stats starting in 1985. Pitching was not always tracked diligently, until Joe Gerber came along, and fielding is impossible to track at this level. Gerber, by the way, left me a valuable statistical database consisting of-- I believe 9-- complete seasons from the 1990s and 2000s. For those seasons at least, I could (if I accept this mission) weed out the park effects from the different fields we've used. It's easier to hit in the winter games, for example. Hastings produces a lot of doubles. Dobbs produces cheap homers. When SFLOI used Dobbs as its primary field, there was a HR explosion of epic proportions, similar to what would happen if the Colorado Rockies moved to Mexico City with 275-foot fences and built eight clones of Ted Williams with DNA taken from his frozen head. When I was hitting at Dobbs in late 2008, I hit 7 of my 12 homers in a single month. Jeff Appell homered 19 times in a season, Glen Lawrence 17, Ian Lebowitz 16. Heckscher, with its spacious outfield (and some claim, its difficult hitting backdrop), took away everyone's "power", though they were really the same hitters. Look in the lifetime stats-- the HR explosion is 1998-2001, and 2002-2005 is the dead ball era.
So, obvious conclusion #1-- some ballparks make certain hitters look good. Singles hitters do not benefit from Dobbs Ferry. Big fly-ball hitters do, as do line-drive gap hitters.
In baseball predictions, age is a big factor, but I don't think that would be the case in softball. Most baseball players are finished by 35, and softball hitters are never "finished", and you could make a case that the decline phase only even begins somewhere between 40 and 60. I would guess that how often a player plays, and how good their conditioning is, has a greater effect. So, I might look at how players perform after 200-AB seasons. Do they improve, or at least decline more slowly? Complicating this-- many of our players get at bats elsewhere, with other teams and pickup games. How can we measure for that?
Well, that's all the stats I have in me for today, and my girlfriend will probably kill me if I don't get off her laptop soon. Nate Silver, one of the guys who designed PECOTA, later said that ballplayers perform pretty much like they did in past seasons. That's good enough for me. Maybe.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
OPENING DAY
We decided to open the 2010 season in Riverdale, after hearing unfavorable reports of ground conditions in Hastings. The field, on Independence Avenue and 232nd Street, was a strange hybrid of turf infield and grass outfield. There was a fair amount of mud in the batter's box and in the outfield, but the weather was beautiful, and the games were exciting, though all the players are probably doing laundry tomorrow.
Game One was won by Jim O'Connor's team 15-13. They barely held on after scoring 10 times in the top of the 1st. First hit of 2010-- a Russell Rivera double to right-center off of Dave Rosengard. First home run of 2010-- an Ian Parfrey 3-run shot to left in the 2nd inning off Rosengard. First strikeout-- Dave Rosengard, 1st inning, pitching to Dan Glauber. First cycle-- Ian Parfrey. First win-- Jim O'Connor.
Game Two was won by Havelock Hewes, 8-4. Hewes's team rallied for 5 runs in the bottom of the 6th to win. Alex Rivera's 2-run triple to left-center was the decisive blow.
I want to thank everyone who played today in conditions reminiscent of Woodstock (the mud, not the rampant nudity), and keep in mind that the winter schedule is often improvised, like this game was. Our default is Zinsser Park in Hastings on Sundays.
Game One was won by Jim O'Connor's team 15-13. They barely held on after scoring 10 times in the top of the 1st. First hit of 2010-- a Russell Rivera double to right-center off of Dave Rosengard. First home run of 2010-- an Ian Parfrey 3-run shot to left in the 2nd inning off Rosengard. First strikeout-- Dave Rosengard, 1st inning, pitching to Dan Glauber. First cycle-- Ian Parfrey. First win-- Jim O'Connor.
Game Two was won by Havelock Hewes, 8-4. Hewes's team rallied for 5 runs in the bottom of the 6th to win. Alex Rivera's 2-run triple to left-center was the decisive blow.
I want to thank everyone who played today in conditions reminiscent of Woodstock (the mud, not the rampant nudity), and keep in mind that the winter schedule is often improvised, like this game was. Our default is Zinsser Park in Hastings on Sundays.
SFLOI DREAM TO RING IN THE 2010 SEASON
Just as the title states, I just woke from a SFLOI dream 5 minutes in advance of my alarm clock, which I would have slept through because the sound was off, so I would never have had Kathleen Marple of 1010Wins tell me to get up. So today, Saturday January 16th at 7:00AM, I am up in, I guess, anticipation of of the start of the 2010 SFLOI season, also known as the Polar Bear portion of the season.
This surprises me for a few reasons: A. I went to bed at 1:15AM, not the latest I've gone to bed on a SFLOI night, but still, B. I had a cup of green tea with honey before I did causing me to toss and turn for the first hour, C. I had a bad dream at 3:30AM which woke me and caused a small panic attack (which caused me to miss 2 or 3 SFLOI dates last year!), and D. I never spring out of bed for anything!
Onto the dream, which I jotted down the highlights so I can transfer them here after the morning piss; dreams usually fade rather quick for me. So, OK, first off, before you think I'm a crazy man, this is the first softball dream I can remember having. That said, it's still pretty vivid. We start with me, Ian, and Seung on a subway train on our way to the city of Riverdale. As we prepare to get off the train, Seung climbs into the bat section of my Easton equipment bag to take a nap. With Seung on my back, Yoda or C3PO style, (interesting to note that two Star Wars characters were carried on the backs of others almost at the same time in Empire, weird, huh? Analyzation for another time.) We get out in Riverdale, which looked like a weird mid-town Manhattan to me. I wanted to stop at Dunkin Donuts (hmm...), but Ian decided to keep going to the field, naturally. Inside Dunkin, I ordered a Box of Joe for all (hmm...) and a large grape juice for the sleepy Seung on my back. I think I got an egg and cheese sandwich, too. Upon leaving, we meet with Ian again, who got lost, and decides he wants yogurt to go along with the coffee I bought. We stop in some yogurt store where he orders a yogurt, but is pissed when it comes with giant hunks of indescribable fruit. Onto the field we go.
Once there, everyone is kind of blurry, and for some reason the only familiar players are Havelock, who is already formulating the sides, and Angel Torres, who I think I've seen once or twice in my life. There's a big puddle by home plate. We meet the owner of the field, a big rowdy Texan, who shows us the lower level, which is another small indoor field with absolutely no outfield. His wife appears and wants us to play down there because of an upcoming storm. Me and Ian convince them otherwise, and I head upstairs. I walk over to Torres who has our line-up card, which he proceeded to make. Here was the top five: 1. Ian 2. some name I cannot recall 3. Marvin! 4. another guy, but he was a man-mountain at the plate, and 5. me. Ian comes up from the basement level, and I hand him the line-up, to whom I offer up the disclaimer that Torres made it already, and he's fuming.
The game begins. Ian leads off and bunts off the female pitcher. Four errors ensue and Ian rounds the bases and scores basically a bunt homer! (Alex's goal for 2010, btw) The next guy gets on somehow, I miss Marvin's at-bat, but heck, Marvin batting third is awesome! The next guy is the man-mountain and he walks. So there's at least two on, and I'm up. I get to the plate and then decide to change bats to my new one. I have a tough time finding it, and then I'm disappointed that the bat is already all scratched. Ian inspects it, and likes the barrel. I step up to the plate and then realize I don't have cleats on, but rather my house slippers. I put on the cleats, although I think this is a quick blur, and step back to the plate. I'm in my stance when my dream completely shifts, and I'm now in a house with my girlfriend's uncle, who has just bought us matching smoking jackets. He's trying his on when I wake up 5 minutes in advance of my alarm.
Story of my playing career, folks, men on and I don't even take a swing! Welcome to 2010, SFLOI!
This surprises me for a few reasons: A. I went to bed at 1:15AM, not the latest I've gone to bed on a SFLOI night, but still, B. I had a cup of green tea with honey before I did causing me to toss and turn for the first hour, C. I had a bad dream at 3:30AM which woke me and caused a small panic attack (which caused me to miss 2 or 3 SFLOI dates last year!), and D. I never spring out of bed for anything!
Onto the dream, which I jotted down the highlights so I can transfer them here after the morning piss; dreams usually fade rather quick for me. So, OK, first off, before you think I'm a crazy man, this is the first softball dream I can remember having. That said, it's still pretty vivid. We start with me, Ian, and Seung on a subway train on our way to the city of Riverdale. As we prepare to get off the train, Seung climbs into the bat section of my Easton equipment bag to take a nap. With Seung on my back, Yoda or C3PO style, (interesting to note that two Star Wars characters were carried on the backs of others almost at the same time in Empire, weird, huh? Analyzation for another time.) We get out in Riverdale, which looked like a weird mid-town Manhattan to me. I wanted to stop at Dunkin Donuts (hmm...), but Ian decided to keep going to the field, naturally. Inside Dunkin, I ordered a Box of Joe for all (hmm...) and a large grape juice for the sleepy Seung on my back. I think I got an egg and cheese sandwich, too. Upon leaving, we meet with Ian again, who got lost, and decides he wants yogurt to go along with the coffee I bought. We stop in some yogurt store where he orders a yogurt, but is pissed when it comes with giant hunks of indescribable fruit. Onto the field we go.
Once there, everyone is kind of blurry, and for some reason the only familiar players are Havelock, who is already formulating the sides, and Angel Torres, who I think I've seen once or twice in my life. There's a big puddle by home plate. We meet the owner of the field, a big rowdy Texan, who shows us the lower level, which is another small indoor field with absolutely no outfield. His wife appears and wants us to play down there because of an upcoming storm. Me and Ian convince them otherwise, and I head upstairs. I walk over to Torres who has our line-up card, which he proceeded to make. Here was the top five: 1. Ian 2. some name I cannot recall 3. Marvin! 4. another guy, but he was a man-mountain at the plate, and 5. me. Ian comes up from the basement level, and I hand him the line-up, to whom I offer up the disclaimer that Torres made it already, and he's fuming.
The game begins. Ian leads off and bunts off the female pitcher. Four errors ensue and Ian rounds the bases and scores basically a bunt homer! (Alex's goal for 2010, btw) The next guy gets on somehow, I miss Marvin's at-bat, but heck, Marvin batting third is awesome! The next guy is the man-mountain and he walks. So there's at least two on, and I'm up. I get to the plate and then decide to change bats to my new one. I have a tough time finding it, and then I'm disappointed that the bat is already all scratched. Ian inspects it, and likes the barrel. I step up to the plate and then realize I don't have cleats on, but rather my house slippers. I put on the cleats, although I think this is a quick blur, and step back to the plate. I'm in my stance when my dream completely shifts, and I'm now in a house with my girlfriend's uncle, who has just bought us matching smoking jackets. He's trying his on when I wake up 5 minutes in advance of my alarm.
Story of my playing career, folks, men on and I don't even take a swing! Welcome to 2010, SFLOI!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
INSTANT IMMORTALIZATION NOW AVAILABLE
Let's all join in thanking Don, Sal and Zach for these great cards. If you haven't sent in your order, don't wait. Supplies are limited. OK, maybe not - but why wait? It will easily be the best money you spend this winter! (That includes the Ant Farm you intend to buy so you'll have some company during the long, cold winter months.)
I have in on very good authority that these cards will triple, quadruple and even fivetupple in value when you attempt to sell them on eBay in the year 2050. They will also provide archeologists with a truly excellent look back at how we lived our lives in the early years of this century. You can easily imagine them wondering how these individuals were able to earn a living while playing a game they loved!
Again, thanks Don, Sal and Zach for a job well done!
I have in on very good authority that these cards will triple, quadruple and even fivetupple in value when you attempt to sell them on eBay in the year 2050. They will also provide archeologists with a truly excellent look back at how we lived our lives in the early years of this century. You can easily imagine them wondering how these individuals were able to earn a living while playing a game they loved!
Again, thanks Don, Sal and Zach for a job well done!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
COHEN'S CONCOCTIONS #1
HAPPINESS IS OKAY, BUT NOT GLOATING?
The problem is the immorality of gloating, which makes the one you gloat against feel bad. My happiness began in November & will continue through Spring at least. I earned the happiness by being a Yankee fan. But my happiness is at the expense of my fellow human beings who care for the Mets. Should I feel guilty in my happiness, so as to spare the Mets' fans' feelings? Do I owe Mets fans some reparation--should I try to destroy my happiness, so as to lower myself to equal their feelings? Should human beings be granted a democracy of emotions, leveled down to conformity? I want to do good to my fellow mankind's--at the cost of denying my Yankee pride? Why can't I just feel good, while I'm still able to, & let Met fans fend for themselves? Guilt is unpleasant, so why can't Met fans be kind enough to let me off the hook?
Am I accusing Met fans of interfering with the happiness that started in November & has enough staying power to last even beyond Spring? If they accuse me of gloating, can't they just look the other way, & forgive my lack of tact?
Tact is superficial compared to morality itself. Now I'm in it deep.
-Marvin Cohen
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
The problem is the immorality of gloating, which makes the one you gloat against feel bad. My happiness began in November & will continue through Spring at least. I earned the happiness by being a Yankee fan. But my happiness is at the expense of my fellow human beings who care for the Mets. Should I feel guilty in my happiness, so as to spare the Mets' fans' feelings? Do I owe Mets fans some reparation--should I try to destroy my happiness, so as to lower myself to equal their feelings? Should human beings be granted a democracy of emotions, leveled down to conformity? I want to do good to my fellow mankind's--at the cost of denying my Yankee pride? Why can't I just feel good, while I'm still able to, & let Met fans fend for themselves? Guilt is unpleasant, so why can't Met fans be kind enough to let me off the hook?
Am I accusing Met fans of interfering with the happiness that started in November & has enough staying power to last even beyond Spring? If they accuse me of gloating, can't they just look the other way, & forgive my lack of tact?
Tact is superficial compared to morality itself. Now I'm in it deep.
-Marvin Cohen
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO
One of the interesting awards we have here is the pennant. How do you win one? You have to be a good, but underrated player, who gets traded inbetween games a lot. Gil almost stole one this year by playing one half of every doubleheader. Bob, who did win, was frequently traded when the losing team requested a good infielder. I came within 1 game of the pennant by going 18-7 as a pitcher, and many of the previous pennant winners-- Gil, Jorge Loarte, Pete Bochan, Havelock-- have been pitchers. The pitcher can control his destiny a little better than the fielders can.
The dark side of this award is the negative pennant. I can't take credit for coining the phrase; it's Seung's. Only one player has won three positive pennants (Bobby Naranjo), but three different players have "won" four negative pennants. Pete Bochan, Bobby Naranjo, Havelock, Gil, and Bob have all won both awards. Havelock, in his "winning" season, was 24 games under .500. That was also the year he walked 63 times. Karma? You tell me. The negative pennant has been won by some good players. Alltime OPS leader Phil Kotik won one, while never winning the actual pennant. Alltime RBI leader Jose Balento is one of the unlucky four-time winners. I guess his bat was asked to cover some outmatched teams over the years. Rich "Wrong Way" Rowlands set a record of sorts in 1999 by winning the negative pennant and only playing 13 games; he went 2-11. We all know Rich can play the game-- that couldn't have been his fault.
Taken together, the positive and negative pennants can measure how well balanced the team-choosing is. 2009 was a well balanced year, with the two pennant winners a total of 19 games off of .500. This makes it the most balanced year since 1993. The most unbalanced year was 2007, when Carl won the pennant at +17, and Marvin won the negative pennant at -20. I think it took all of Havelock's skill to hold Carl to +17 that year, as Carl also led the league in doubles, triples, homers, and RBI.
The dark side of this award is the negative pennant. I can't take credit for coining the phrase; it's Seung's. Only one player has won three positive pennants (Bobby Naranjo), but three different players have "won" four negative pennants. Pete Bochan, Bobby Naranjo, Havelock, Gil, and Bob have all won both awards. Havelock, in his "winning" season, was 24 games under .500. That was also the year he walked 63 times. Karma? You tell me. The negative pennant has been won by some good players. Alltime OPS leader Phil Kotik won one, while never winning the actual pennant. Alltime RBI leader Jose Balento is one of the unlucky four-time winners. I guess his bat was asked to cover some outmatched teams over the years. Rich "Wrong Way" Rowlands set a record of sorts in 1999 by winning the negative pennant and only playing 13 games; he went 2-11. We all know Rich can play the game-- that couldn't have been his fault.
Taken together, the positive and negative pennants can measure how well balanced the team-choosing is. 2009 was a well balanced year, with the two pennant winners a total of 19 games off of .500. This makes it the most balanced year since 1993. The most unbalanced year was 2007, when Carl won the pennant at +17, and Marvin won the negative pennant at -20. I think it took all of Havelock's skill to hold Carl to +17 that year, as Carl also led the league in doubles, triples, homers, and RBI.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
COMMISSIONER'S REPORT
Players,
Thanks to all the people who have helped move us into the twenty-first century. A year ago our on-line presence was our e-mail list and LarrySavell.com. Then we were on Heywoodtheband.com (Ian Parfrey's site) and we had a Facebook page, thanks to Tony Connor. Now we have our own web site, thanks to Sal Cipriano.
Also this year we were discovered in The New York Review Of Books as a "curious collection of players" whose game is more compelling than the Mets or Yankees. These "curiosities" can be seen on the first Softball For The Love Of It softball cards, thanks to the work of Don Weiss.
Besides achieving all this fame, the on-field experience of playing our game has never been more fun. Despite two horrific injuries (dramatic limb dislocations to Phil Ciccone and Marvin Cohen) and lots of rain, we managed a full and glorious season. Derek Martinez hit seven homers in one morning on his way to breaking Phil Kotik's single-season homerun record. Martinez, Parfrey and Alex Rivera all had historic seasons which will make for an interesting MVP vote. We are considering a ballot with only those three names, to insure that no one loses because he was entirely left off one ballot.
Going into the last week of the season, Parfrey, Alex Rivera and Bob Holzwasser were tied in the pennant race at ten games over .500. Holzwasser's strategy was to stay home. Parfrey and Rivera both lost two games, handing Holzwasser the pennant with his Sunday breakfast and newspaper.
We welcomed back Richard Tedesco on a regular basis this season, but I am coming to the conclusion that, for a number of our players, the single biggest factor in attendance is geography. When we move to Westchester, Richard Rowlands, Dan Schneider and Larry Savell show up. Bill Vernick is a Manhattan-only player. We had not seen Joe Balento in a couple of years, until Joe Gerber got us a permit for Lowenfish Field at 108th in Riverside Park and here comes Balento! Could it be that we finally got within Joe's geographical sphere (he lives 5 blocks away).
In the past we have had several theme games. Most notably the Capitalist/Communist game in which the commies scored one run in virtually every inning, only to lose 8-7 because the robber barons put up two boom innings among their goose eggs.
This season, we played the first-ever "Backwards" game. Several players could not remember to run to third out of the box, inspiring at least one new nickname, Richard "Wrong Way" Rowlands. My favorite moment of the 2009 season came on the last day. Game One was our backwards game. In game 2, Alex Rivera hit a line drive and ran to third base! That's what I call a fast learner.
-Havelock Hewes
Thanks to all the people who have helped move us into the twenty-first century. A year ago our on-line presence was our e-mail list and LarrySavell.com. Then we were on Heywoodtheband.com (Ian Parfrey's site) and we had a Facebook page, thanks to Tony Connor. Now we have our own web site, thanks to Sal Cipriano.
Also this year we were discovered in The New York Review Of Books as a "curious collection of players" whose game is more compelling than the Mets or Yankees. These "curiosities" can be seen on the first Softball For The Love Of It softball cards, thanks to the work of Don Weiss.
Besides achieving all this fame, the on-field experience of playing our game has never been more fun. Despite two horrific injuries (dramatic limb dislocations to Phil Ciccone and Marvin Cohen) and lots of rain, we managed a full and glorious season. Derek Martinez hit seven homers in one morning on his way to breaking Phil Kotik's single-season homerun record. Martinez, Parfrey and Alex Rivera all had historic seasons which will make for an interesting MVP vote. We are considering a ballot with only those three names, to insure that no one loses because he was entirely left off one ballot.
Going into the last week of the season, Parfrey, Alex Rivera and Bob Holzwasser were tied in the pennant race at ten games over .500. Holzwasser's strategy was to stay home. Parfrey and Rivera both lost two games, handing Holzwasser the pennant with his Sunday breakfast and newspaper.
We welcomed back Richard Tedesco on a regular basis this season, but I am coming to the conclusion that, for a number of our players, the single biggest factor in attendance is geography. When we move to Westchester, Richard Rowlands, Dan Schneider and Larry Savell show up. Bill Vernick is a Manhattan-only player. We had not seen Joe Balento in a couple of years, until Joe Gerber got us a permit for Lowenfish Field at 108th in Riverside Park and here comes Balento! Could it be that we finally got within Joe's geographical sphere (he lives 5 blocks away).
In the past we have had several theme games. Most notably the Capitalist/Communist game in which the commies scored one run in virtually every inning, only to lose 8-7 because the robber barons put up two boom innings among their goose eggs.
This season, we played the first-ever "Backwards" game. Several players could not remember to run to third out of the box, inspiring at least one new nickname, Richard "Wrong Way" Rowlands. My favorite moment of the 2009 season came on the last day. Game One was our backwards game. In game 2, Alex Rivera hit a line drive and ran to third base! That's what I call a fast learner.
-Havelock Hewes
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
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