Sunday, April 25, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
LP2 Beats Friars 6-5 on Walkoff Hit
Trailing 5-3 heading into the bottom of the 7th, LP2 rallied to win on Sid Garcia's line single over shortstop. Paul Brill's walk started the inning, and the Friars committed outfield miscues on successive fly balls. Victor Waldron sacrificed the tying and winning runs into scoring position, Brian Hernandez's SF tied it, and then Garcia banged home the winner. Jeff Appell started and pitched well, and also had 3 hits. Ian Parfrey got the win in relief. The baserunning heroics of Jonathan Blazon and Victor Waldron were also instrumental in securing the win.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
COHEN'S CONCOCTIONS #8
AN IMPROVE-THE-WORLD SCHEME, PUT INTO PLAY BY A BALLPLAYER FORCED INTO RETIREMENT
The ballplayer had reached the end. But he hadn't reached for it -- it came to him, of its own accord unhelped by his reluctance to call it quits.
They had to rip his uniform off his back, but despite a recent bath, the uniform and his skin had joined stuck like the inside-outside layers of such a selfsame fabric that cloth and flesh unpolarized between nature and artifice.
Retirement was like starting out on a new non-career as a whole new rookie, whose statistics were blank on the page yet.
He had amassed, through a near-hall of fame career, steadily increasing salaries to the tune of a well-heeled fortune. How could he reward the earth for the lucrative power of his unasked-for body?
By devising an improve-the-world scheme. There was a plague of suicide-bombers all over, killing innocents. How to dissuade such rampant slaughterers? By disillusioning them of unrealistic expectations of there being a heaven as an after-death payment for sacrificing their lives in the self-same explosions that deprived others of the same precious substance.
Using his career-earned millions, the now-retired ballplayer hired eminent scientists from nations friendly to all suicide bombers, to create a well-documented group scientific Proclamation to be read by future volunteer suicide bombers to the effect that suicide doesn't pay off, since death instantly ends consciousness so that even if there was a heaven it couldn't entertain the senses of anyone who died, since those senses had no more existence.
Self-death was certainly a foolish move, declared the Proclamation. It would also end the chance of changing your mind about killing yourself once the deal had done itself, since death offers no second chance.
So, the Proclamation asked, what's the point of ending your life by suicide, since nothing will reward such a deed, it proclaims its do-er as by definition the quintessence of an absolute loser. "Wise up," the Proclamation said. "If you kill yourself, what's left? Nothing, and nothing has no heaven to reside in, no matter what the real-estate market at the time offers to anyone at whatever income at his or for that matter her disposal, such as the case may be. Let's be realistic. Even if heaven were conceivable, your death by suicide leaves you with no mind left to live it up there, to enjoy the non-available heaven to the hilt.
"Don't be a delusory fool, tilting against windmills. The odds for a productive afterlife stand at a million to nothing. At those odds, what's in it for you? From the self-interest point of view, the nil you gain amounts, in practical terms at any currency, to no gain in sum total. That's all you get, for all your efforts in pulling off a successful suicide bombing. So as scientists, we advise you, for the sake of your lives, not even to TRY suicide. As you'll never see, it makes no sense. So what's the point of that? We, the undersigned of this Proclamation, have devoted our lives to science; and what you've just now read concludes our joint professional findings. If you dare not to respect our opinions, that's your business. But if you want to stay in business, take our advice and wise up, before it's too late. If it's too late, you'll have no regrets, but is that a consolation? Don't fool around with death, it's too risky -- but you'll never find out."
The retired ballplayer paid the scientists for their Proclamation, which he had printed in leaflets in all the appropriate languages, to distribute among future would-be suicide bombers wherever they still existed. Then he sat back, with the future balancing itself.
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
The ballplayer had reached the end. But he hadn't reached for it -- it came to him, of its own accord unhelped by his reluctance to call it quits.
They had to rip his uniform off his back, but despite a recent bath, the uniform and his skin had joined stuck like the inside-outside layers of such a selfsame fabric that cloth and flesh unpolarized between nature and artifice.
Retirement was like starting out on a new non-career as a whole new rookie, whose statistics were blank on the page yet.
He had amassed, through a near-hall of fame career, steadily increasing salaries to the tune of a well-heeled fortune. How could he reward the earth for the lucrative power of his unasked-for body?
By devising an improve-the-world scheme. There was a plague of suicide-bombers all over, killing innocents. How to dissuade such rampant slaughterers? By disillusioning them of unrealistic expectations of there being a heaven as an after-death payment for sacrificing their lives in the self-same explosions that deprived others of the same precious substance.
Using his career-earned millions, the now-retired ballplayer hired eminent scientists from nations friendly to all suicide bombers, to create a well-documented group scientific Proclamation to be read by future volunteer suicide bombers to the effect that suicide doesn't pay off, since death instantly ends consciousness so that even if there was a heaven it couldn't entertain the senses of anyone who died, since those senses had no more existence.
Self-death was certainly a foolish move, declared the Proclamation. It would also end the chance of changing your mind about killing yourself once the deal had done itself, since death offers no second chance.
So, the Proclamation asked, what's the point of ending your life by suicide, since nothing will reward such a deed, it proclaims its do-er as by definition the quintessence of an absolute loser. "Wise up," the Proclamation said. "If you kill yourself, what's left? Nothing, and nothing has no heaven to reside in, no matter what the real-estate market at the time offers to anyone at whatever income at his or for that matter her disposal, such as the case may be. Let's be realistic. Even if heaven were conceivable, your death by suicide leaves you with no mind left to live it up there, to enjoy the non-available heaven to the hilt.
"Don't be a delusory fool, tilting against windmills. The odds for a productive afterlife stand at a million to nothing. At those odds, what's in it for you? From the self-interest point of view, the nil you gain amounts, in practical terms at any currency, to no gain in sum total. That's all you get, for all your efforts in pulling off a successful suicide bombing. So as scientists, we advise you, for the sake of your lives, not even to TRY suicide. As you'll never see, it makes no sense. So what's the point of that? We, the undersigned of this Proclamation, have devoted our lives to science; and what you've just now read concludes our joint professional findings. If you dare not to respect our opinions, that's your business. But if you want to stay in business, take our advice and wise up, before it's too late. If it's too late, you'll have no regrets, but is that a consolation? Don't fool around with death, it's too risky -- but you'll never find out."
The retired ballplayer paid the scientists for their Proclamation, which he had printed in leaflets in all the appropriate languages, to distribute among future would-be suicide bombers wherever they still existed. Then he sat back, with the future balancing itself.
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
APRIL 18 GAME RECAPS
Game 1: Parfrey 8, Hewes 3
Backed by the bats of Chris Hall (2-for-3, triple, 4 RBI), and Freddy Melendez (3-for-3, RBI), Parfrey (2-2) scattered 12 hits and won. Hall's 2-run triple broke a 3-3 tie in the 4th inning.
Game 2: O'Connor 4, Melendez 3
With the 11am curfew rapidly approaching in the bottom of the 6th, Don Weiss tripled to right, and Zach Nilva hit a deep sac fly to right-center to bring him in, breaking a 3-3 tie. Jim O'Connor (4-1) settled down after allowing a run in each of the first 3 innings to shut down a good offense over the final four. Ian Parfrey was 2-for-3 with an RBI for O'Connor's team, and Fred Lang made two game-saving catches in right field. Sal Cipriano hit his first HR of the season in a losing cause.
Backed by the bats of Chris Hall (2-for-3, triple, 4 RBI), and Freddy Melendez (3-for-3, RBI), Parfrey (2-2) scattered 12 hits and won. Hall's 2-run triple broke a 3-3 tie in the 4th inning.
Game 2: O'Connor 4, Melendez 3
With the 11am curfew rapidly approaching in the bottom of the 6th, Don Weiss tripled to right, and Zach Nilva hit a deep sac fly to right-center to bring him in, breaking a 3-3 tie. Jim O'Connor (4-1) settled down after allowing a run in each of the first 3 innings to shut down a good offense over the final four. Ian Parfrey was 2-for-3 with an RBI for O'Connor's team, and Fred Lang made two game-saving catches in right field. Sal Cipriano hit his first HR of the season in a losing cause.
Labels:
Chris Hall,
don weiss,
Freddy melendez,
ian parfrey,
jim o'connor,
Sal Cipriano,
ZACH NILVA
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
New Rules
Players,
On Sunday we had an attendance of 35 players. We have a natural spike in attendace this time of year because it is the first chance of the year for many to play, we are in centrally located Central Park and people haven't injured themselves yet.
While I was happy to see all of you, I also need to address the question of overcrowding. In order to assure that we don't have too many players and that we can have a viable game we will be enforcing the following rules in any week in which we have over 26 players...
1) No new players. Unless a player has played at least once before in the league he/she will not be allowed to play. Do not bring guests.
2) Only dues payers allowed. Each player must have paid $30 to Gil Schmerler (or have come to an alternate agreement with Gil) in order to play.
3) Because of the numbers of players, captains will be allowed to sit players for up to four innings of a seven inning game. If you will be offended by only playing three innings in each game, I advise you to wait until later in the season to play.
I wish we had two permits.
-Havelock Hewes - Commissioner
On Sunday we had an attendance of 35 players. We have a natural spike in attendace this time of year because it is the first chance of the year for many to play, we are in centrally located Central Park and people haven't injured themselves yet.
While I was happy to see all of you, I also need to address the question of overcrowding. In order to assure that we don't have too many players and that we can have a viable game we will be enforcing the following rules in any week in which we have over 26 players...
1) No new players. Unless a player has played at least once before in the league he/she will not be allowed to play. Do not bring guests.
2) Only dues payers allowed. Each player must have paid $30 to Gil Schmerler (or have come to an alternate agreement with Gil) in order to play.
3) Because of the numbers of players, captains will be allowed to sit players for up to four innings of a seven inning game. If you will be offended by only playing three innings in each game, I advise you to wait until later in the season to play.
I wish we had two permits.
-Havelock Hewes - Commissioner
Monday, April 12, 2010
Let's Play 2 Opens With a Win
Since Dave Sommers' Let's Play 2 team uses so many SFLOI regulars, I thought I'd briefly recap their 6-5 nailbiting win over The Legends at the Great Lawn this evening. LP2 took an early 3-0 lead, keyed by Nick S.'s 2-run triple, but fell behind 5-3 later on. A 3-run rally in the top of the 5th featured a game-tying dead-duck single by Ian, and a go-ahead single up the middle by Dave. Jeff Appell got the win, and Ian pitched 3 scoreless for the save. The LP2 defense was flawless, with 2 baserunner kills from the outfield (Paul Brill and Izzy), and stellar infield glove work, including the impossible stretches of first baseman Jason "Plastic Man" Yudoff.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
OPENING DAY!!
In what is hopefully a sign of things to come, the Heckscher grounds crew were efficient and unobtrusive, and we were on the field before 8:30. Despite a serious overload of players (33 in Game 2), both games were enjoyable and closely fought contests.
In game 1, Hewes defeated Appell 6-5. Hewes's team was led by Brian Hernandez (2-for-2, 2B, RBI). Don Weiss added 2 hits, and Russell Rivera drove in the go-ahead run with a 5th-inning single. Appell backed his own pitching with 2 hits, and Ian Parfrey homered and drove in three. Appell's team mounted a furious comeback in the 7th, but left the tying run on first base.
In game 2, Melendez beat Parfrey 7-5 in 6 innings. Gabe Hernandez's 3-run homer in the 3rd inning was the decisive blow. Gabe, Robert Rodriguez Sr., and Chris Hall all had 2 hits. Again, the tying run was stranded on base in the last inning.
In game 1, Hewes defeated Appell 6-5. Hewes's team was led by Brian Hernandez (2-for-2, 2B, RBI). Don Weiss added 2 hits, and Russell Rivera drove in the go-ahead run with a 5th-inning single. Appell backed his own pitching with 2 hits, and Ian Parfrey homered and drove in three. Appell's team mounted a furious comeback in the 7th, but left the tying run on first base.
In game 2, Melendez beat Parfrey 7-5 in 6 innings. Gabe Hernandez's 3-run homer in the 3rd inning was the decisive blow. Gabe, Robert Rodriguez Sr., and Chris Hall all had 2 hits. Again, the tying run was stranded on base in the last inning.
Monday, April 5, 2010
COHEN'S CONCOCTIONS #7
REALLY ROTTEN RESULTS
The general manager hired a psychiatrist for his star but slumping player, whose slump was costing the team a chance to compete in post-season. For a great fee, the psychiatrist broke confidentiality rules. That's how the general manager learned the emotional basis of the player's slump: beloved wife's adulterous betrayal to a threatened divorce extent, since there were no children. At great expense, the general manager hired a detective who located and paid off handsomely the wife's adulterer to abandon the wife. The payments to the psychiatrist, detective, and adulterer added up to financially ruin the ball team, whose owner fired the general manager. The distressed key player, despite his also distressed wife's profuse apology, partially but insufficiently recovered from his slump, and the team failed to make the playoffs. To top off a lousy season, the key player had to be sold off to partially alleviate the team's financial hole that the fired general manager had dug. The player hated being sold, and he never forgave his wife, so they divorced. Love down the drain. Such a lousy season for all concerned. Did any good come out of this? Yes, but only for the enriched psychiatrist, the enriched detective, and the enriched adulterer, who never did truly love the key player's straying wife. So we congratulate the gainers, while commiserating with the key player, his wife, the general manager, the team owner, the team's fans, and anyone else who needs consoling, including this story's readers, who stuck with such a downer, such a string of negatives, an altogether loser, losing all this time that could have been put to more profitable use. Sorry.
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
The general manager hired a psychiatrist for his star but slumping player, whose slump was costing the team a chance to compete in post-season. For a great fee, the psychiatrist broke confidentiality rules. That's how the general manager learned the emotional basis of the player's slump: beloved wife's adulterous betrayal to a threatened divorce extent, since there were no children. At great expense, the general manager hired a detective who located and paid off handsomely the wife's adulterer to abandon the wife. The payments to the psychiatrist, detective, and adulterer added up to financially ruin the ball team, whose owner fired the general manager. The distressed key player, despite his also distressed wife's profuse apology, partially but insufficiently recovered from his slump, and the team failed to make the playoffs. To top off a lousy season, the key player had to be sold off to partially alleviate the team's financial hole that the fired general manager had dug. The player hated being sold, and he never forgave his wife, so they divorced. Love down the drain. Such a lousy season for all concerned. Did any good come out of this? Yes, but only for the enriched psychiatrist, the enriched detective, and the enriched adulterer, who never did truly love the key player's straying wife. So we congratulate the gainers, while commiserating with the key player, his wife, the general manager, the team owner, the team's fans, and anyone else who needs consoling, including this story's readers, who stuck with such a downer, such a string of negatives, an altogether loser, losing all this time that could have been put to more profitable use. Sorry.
Marvin Cohen is the author of several books including Baseball The Beautiful (1974) and a former creative writing teacher at the New School. Marvin plays first base for Softball For The Love Of It.
EASTER WITH SFLOI (A RECAP OF EPIC PROPORTIONS)
A Very SFLOI Easter turned out to be an ugly affair with a 9-inning, 27-9, walloping of Hewes' Bonnets by Martinez's Bunnies. The Bonnets started rather strong taking a 9-3 lead into the fourth inning, but it all unraveled for the Commish when the Bunnies plated 11 with a string of 5 singles and 3 doubles. With a mass exodus coming at noon, the day's events changed from the usual two 7-inning games to one 9, and Martinez's crew kept pounding it in as the game went along. The pitching and defense held up their end of the bargain as well from there on, finally ending the two+ hour affair at 12:15PM.
The offensive stars included Alex Rivera (6-8, 4 doubles, triple, 5 RBI), Zach Nilva (5-8, 2 doubles, HR, 4 RBI), and Nel Yomtov (5-7, double, HR, 3 RBI).
We now bid adieu to Hastings and our winter league brethren! It's been fun, and we'll see you in the Fall!
Next week SFLOI moves back to Central Park's Heckscher Field and welcomes back it's largest chunk of players for the spring/summer season! Game time is 8:30AM! Be there!
*please note, statistics will not be updated till next week due to Mr. Parfrey being on European Holiday!
The offensive stars included Alex Rivera (6-8, 4 doubles, triple, 5 RBI), Zach Nilva (5-8, 2 doubles, HR, 4 RBI), and Nel Yomtov (5-7, double, HR, 3 RBI).
We now bid adieu to Hastings and our winter league brethren! It's been fun, and we'll see you in the Fall!
Next week SFLOI moves back to Central Park's Heckscher Field and welcomes back it's largest chunk of players for the spring/summer season! Game time is 8:30AM! Be there!
*please note, statistics will not be updated till next week due to Mr. Parfrey being on European Holiday!
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